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In an effort to make more money (The Boss doesn't pay well), some of my demonic friends have offered to guard web pages. If you have a website, and think you're qualified to hire one of these otherworldly guardians, let me know and I'll tell you if you're worthy, Sub Creature!
[ note: When you are approved to hire a mercenary, you get a full picture...and you are not guaranteed to be approved! S'don't come whinin' t'me if you aren't! ]
HIRED!
Talon is a very agile and powerful warrior, and his specialty
is melee combat. He'll gladly rend any interlopers limb from limb, but
don't ask him to do it 'with a smile'. He hates that.
"Disembowel first, ask questions later."
Pyre is sensual succubus, who will beguile any enemy, lull them into a sense of security, and dispose of them slowly, feeding off their life force. Whatever you do, don't leave her alone with your significant other - old habits die hard.
"Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"
Ooglorblax is a very...unique demon. His specialty is causing discord and chaos, and he delights in driving your un-wanted guests insane. Only if threatened will he attack with his deadly teeth.
"Ogdru Sug Abal, Rama!"
Hired!
Mr. Hookman is probably the best assassin in the Underworld,
and has a broad clientele. He's quick, quiet, and efficient...flamers,
beware!
"..."
Now why would I want a demon to guard my web page? Forget it!